How to Heal From Your Trauma (The Reset Button)
So, you wanna heal from a bad childhood or relationship . Maybe you’ve read my other posts and you’re like, “Okay , I get it. Safety. Body. Blah blah. But what do I actually DO?”
Healing is like trying to assemble furniture with a butter knife. Eventually you give up and drown your stress with a tub of Ice cream.
Well, consider this post your toolbox. We’re gonna talk about four real, actual tools you can use to tell your nervous system the coast is clear. No more talking about the past. Just doing stuff in the NOW.
Let’s get into it.
Tool #1: Grounding (For When You’re Spinning Out)
Grounding is your emergency brake. It’s for when you feel that anxiety starting to rev its engine, or when you feel yourself checking out of your own body.
The goal is to get out of rumination and into your senses. RIGHT. NOW.
Your body speaks the language of sensation, not story.
Here’s your cheat sheet:
· The 5-4-3-2-1 Drill: Name (out loud or in your head):
· 5 things you can SEE (That lamp, a speck of dust, my weird pinky toe)
· 4 things you can TOUCH (The couch fabric, this cool glass of water, my hair, the floor under my feet)
· 3 things you can HEAR (The fridge humming, a car outside, my own breathing)
· 2 things you can SMELL (My coffee, this leftover candle scent)
· 1 thing you can TASTE (The leftover taste of my lunch, my gum)
Boom. You just forced your brain into the present moment. No tiger here. Just a lamp and a humming fridge. You’re safe.
This really works,
Tool #2: Journaling (The Belief Detective)
Okay, this one is like being a detective on your own case. Those old, crappy beliefs? (“I’m not good enough,” “I’m a burden,” “I have to be perfect”)… they run on autopilot in the background.
Journaling is how you find them and shut them down.
You don’t need to write a novel. Just ask yourself one question and let your hand write the answer without thinking too hard:
· “What must I believe to be true to feel this way?”
· Feeling like you can’t say no? Maybe you believe “My worth depends on making others happy.”
· “Where did I learn this?” (Hint: It often rhymes with “shmom” or “shmamily” or “shmchool”)
· “Is this belief actually true? What’s the evidence against it?”
Seeing that junk belief on paper takes its power away. It’s just a thought, not a fact. You can cross it out and write a new one.
Tool #3: Visualization (The Mental Rehearsal)
Your brain is a supercomputer that can’t tell the difference between a real memory and a vividly imagined one. Crazy, right?
We can use that for good instead of evil.
If your brain is great at visualizing worst-case scenarios (and oh boy, is it ever), we can train it to visualize safety.
· The Container: Imagine a super secure container. A vault, a treasure chest with a lock, a spaceship you blast into the sun. Now, mentally put all the overwhelming thoughts, memories, or feelings into that container and lock it up. You can decide to take them out later with a therapist if you want, but for now, they are safe and separate from you.
· The Safe Place: This is your mental happy place. It can be real or imaginary. A sunny beach, a cozy cabin, your grandma’s old kitchen. Imagine the details. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Feel on your skin? Go there for a two-minute vacation when things feel heavy.
If all that’s too much… just visualize your waiting outside your exes house with a carton of eggs😂.
You’re not running from your problems. You’re giving your brain a much-needed break so it doesn’t blow a fuse.
Tool #4: Exercise (Shake It Off, Literally)
Okay, hear me out. This isn’t about getting ripped. This is about completing the stress cycle.
When your body gets a threat signal, it preps for action. It dumps cortisol and adrenaline into your system to help you FIGHT or RUN.
But if you just sit there and stress… that energy has nowhere to go. It gets stuck in your body. That’s a big part of why you feel so wound up.
Exercise is how you use that energy. You complete the cycle.
· Go for a run. (Running from the tiger! Cycle complete!)
· Punch a pillow or a punching bag. (Fighting the tiger! Cycle complete!)
· Dance like @ZanahBear in your living room. (Shaking off the tiger vibes! Cycle complete!)
· Jump rope, do jumping jacks, just MOVE.
You’re not just working out. You’re telling your body, “We did the thing! The threat is handled! We can relax now!”
The Bottom Line
Healing isn’t a mind game. It’s a body game.
You have to move the energy out and put safety in.
Use Grounding to stop a panic attack in its tracks. Use Journaling to find and delete the old, crappy software running in the background. Use Visualization to give your brain a safe place to rest. Use Exercise to burn off the stuck stress that’s keeping you wired.
You’ve got the tools now. You don’t have to wait. You can start right this second.
Your body has been waiting for you to send the all-clear signal. You got this.
I’m rooting on you. Love and Light.
PS. Our quiz is also a great tool to find old beliefs that could be keeping you stuck. Take the quiz here